Meet My New Co-Worker

My new co-worker

She’s been on the job for two years now. Well, two years four months to be exact and over time she’s become…. shall we say, extremely spirited. You see, things didn’t start out that way, but over time her confidence on the job has grown, which has made her pretty comfortable exerting her opinion in the workplace.

Her current workload includes building bear houses, copious amounts of ‘Ring around the Rosie’, and exerting her independence, with exerting her independence at the very top of that list. It’s probably her main priority these days and I admire her commitment to follow though – it’s rare to see that level of intensity on the job these days.

She has certainly picked up some good work ethics in her short two years of work experience though. Like her relentless commitment. She spends some long hours in the office – usually up and at it well before my alarm even goes off and doesn’t want to quit until long after the sun has gone down. She’s a real go getter, this one – definitely committed to the job.

She’s also adamant, driven, and doesn’t seem to want to take no for an answer. I feel bad for the guy on the other end of those sales calls, as she really is unrelenting and won’t give in. The art of compromise is apparently something she hasn’t had a chance yet to cover in her business classes. However, because of this, I have a feeling our sales numbers are really going to skyrocket in the next quarter.

The energy level that she brings to work each day is consistent, unyielding, and even admirable. I’m honestly impressed with the level of enthusiasm that she exhibits day in and day out. It’s really top-notch and unparalleled to anything I’ve ever seen in the workplace before.

She is great at reminders, too, and is less forgetful than an elephant, so much so that I’ve started depending more on her than on my Outlook calendar. She’s especially helpful at reminders that have to do with coloring, snacks, and the building of the aforementioned bear houses.

When it comes to office etiquette, she has a few things yet to master. Unfortunately, she has an issue with going to the bathroom in her pants, but we’re actively working on that. I don’t think its grounds for being written up just yet.

She keeps her office really messy, even after I’ve insisted many times over that everything has a place. She clearly doesn’t mind though, and the greater amount of floor space that’s covered the better. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s the office flooring that she doesn’t like.

She’s demanding, a little erratic at times, and doesn’t do well with deadlines or working under pressure. She’s learning though, so I guess I’ll cut her a little slack.

She often takes on new projects, but doesn’t follow through, leaving me holding the bag. Meanwhile, she still puts her name on the completed project with no mention of the blood, sweat, and tears that I lovingly poured into it.

She always forgets to pack her own lunch and likes to steal mine out of the breakroom fridge when I’m not looking. She’s actually become bold enough to where she steals my lunch even when I am looking. Cheese, grapes, and olives are not safe in the communal fridge and even after I told her that I had licked them, she was completely unphased and continued to devour them at an alarming pace.

She hasn’t quite fully grasped the concept of personal space either. I really hate to report her to HR, but I think it’s going to have to happen, as her invasions occur with an overwhelming frequency. (And quite frankly, how can I resist?)

Instead of morning coffee, she prefers to throw back a hot cocoa with more marshmallows than sand in the desert. I like a little caffeine in the morning; she likes a little liquid sugar. Of course, consumption is not complete without a spoon and a sticky adventure that follows that leaves the office kitchen in a sad state of affairs by the time she’s done. I’m so thankful that the office provides this amenity complementary though, talk about a nice perk.

She’s fueled by endless amounts of fruit snacks, Baby Shark, and pleading to get all of her federally mandated breaks in by going outside.

Dinosaur sounds, specifically those of T-Rex, dominate the background noise when I’m on conference calls. She’s such an office prankster, this one.

She gets pretty grumpy in the afternoon, which leads to me begging her to sneak away to the office lounge for a nap. Sometimes she is compliant, but most of the time she insists that she still has work to do. This is a true testament to her commitment.

She’s a good talker, a really good talker when she’s loading me up with work, but her listening skills definitely leave some room for improvement. Note to self: Add this to her blue sheet for coaching before I forget.

Her dress code usually involves sweatshirts, only with the hood up, of course, pink fuzzy dinosaur slippers, and a ‘pony’ in her hair. Although, sometimes she surprises me with a more formal option and requests a ‘bun’ – this must be for days that she’s meeting with the bigwigs. I’ve even seen her come to work in her pajamas. I’m not sure that this fits the bill of business casual that’s outlined in the employee manual, but we’re rolling with it, as not to cause any tension in the office.

Recently, she’s been spending a lot of time on conference calls with a customer named ‘Blippi.’ While I’m not too sure about the guy, she seems to be a raving fan and notes that the time spent with him is worthwhile and will definitely pay off down the road.

She doesn’t stream Pandora like most other coworkers I’ve had, she’d rather belt out her own tunes. Right now, we’ve got “The Farmer in the Dell,” “Old MacDonald,” and “Happy Birthday” playing on non-stop repeat. She doesn’t seem to have volume control down either and could really care less if I’m in the middle of an online meeting.

Above all, though, while my new co-worker is demanding and comes with a unique set of challenges that we’re working though, I am beyond thankful that I get to spend today, and the coming days, with her in the safety of our own home. Stay home, wash your hands, and to my fellow parents of toddlers, stay sane, my friends.

Ashley Hirsch

About Ashley Hirsch

Sales Coordinator

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One thought on “Meet My New Co-Worker

  1. Love it! I could see it all unfolding. I should probably tell you that I think while you have a great coworker, her coworker is pretty special too. Thanks for sharing your adventures.

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